15 posts tagged “ron”
Show us two things that belong together.
Awwww how sweet! (You may go vomit in the corner now. Sorry.)
We are coming up on our one month wedding anniversary, yet we still have not known each other one year. When I say it feels like it has been much MUCH longer, I mean it in the best way possible. We joke a lot (we're really good at that) that we are really just insufferable narcissists. We married our exact clones so that we could spend a lifetime loving ourselves. But the truth is that we're different in very complementary ways. Our optimism/pessimism varies on certain topics, but always balances out. We both have our depressive states, but are able to dig the other one out with a minimum of effort. We keep each other balanced and happy and we love each other crazy stupid amounts.
Ron had this brilliant idea to have the story of our relationship included in the wedding program, but use quotes from our blogs and emails to tell the story. It was the second best idea he's ever had (the first being marrying me, of course...)
They are as follows....
How did Ron & Ashley’s story begin? Well, it all started with a boy, a girl and a three-day trial on Match.com…
Ron’s headline & profile
“The Biggest Jerk You'll Ever Meet... and the Computer Says We're A Match!
…and the description of himself and his “Ideal Match”
I’m thirty-five. I live at home with my mom. My hair is thinning and my beer gut isn’t getting any smaller. I have a 1972 pinto that I painted to look like the General Lee on The Dukes of Hazard. I joined match cause this was an easy way to find hot girls without all the work of talking to them first. So basically what I’m looking for is a girl who’s totally hot, has a good job, buys me stuff, lets me hang at her place and drink beer, lends me her car, gives me money, doesn’t nag me and really digs strip clubs. If I turned up in your search then the computer thinks we’re a match and we should totally hook up.
The ’72 Pinto caught the eye of Ashley who was on the last day of free trial to the internet dating site. When Ashley & Ron did “totally hook up” for a first date, they were anxious to meet for the first time.
Ashley: I’m trying to be cautiously optimistic and failing miserably. I’m all out excited. We're going to have the cutest story if we end up together. And isn't that how all the best relationships start? With a cute story?
Of course, Ashley did her best to suppress her neurotic tendencies.
Ashley: As I got closer to restaurant, I got more nervous and was alternately practicing my smile in the rearview mirror, and talking to myself. Then telling myself to stop talking to myself. Then telling myself that telling myself to stop talking to myself was still, technically, talking to myself. It's complicated being me.
And it was the first of a great many dates for the both of them.
Ashley: We went and saw "Stardust", which was an awesome movie. We both laughed at same stuff. He smells yummy. He has good ADD drugs. So I guess this is all working out well so far. Le sigh, le swoon, le float.
Ron: It was another great date night with Ashley and we left the theater acting like a couple of goof-balls knowing we don't have to resent all those happy couples that used to make us gag. Now they can now resent us.
Ashley: Fourth date sounds just ridiculous because surely we have known each other longer. Surely we've been hanging out for years sharing stories, creating inside jokes, listening, laughing, commiserating. This cannot be the fourth date.
Ron (first Dinner with Ashley’s girls): It was the first dinner Ashley ever cooked and it was delicious. Without warning, her adorable girls opened their mouths uttering an apocalyptic noise described only the book of Revelations Being that it was very early in our dating relationship, I felt it inappropriate to curb the girls charming behavior. I quietly picked another piece of broccoli from my hair and placed it back on my plate. To my relief Ashley acted as I would’ve expected a parent to. "Here we go," I thought as her mouth opened to deliver a gentle rebuff given that company was present. Instead, Ashley unleashed the sound of Hell itself, launching a fresh round of broccoli and mashed potatoes into my hair. High fives all around.
"So this condition,” I asked, untangling my hair from rapidly drying gravy. “Is it genetic?"
And through all the time together they started to fall in love.
Ashley: I'm sorry if I'm still somewhat mute. Partly I just feel comfortable enough with you to just be quiet. Partly I don't want to start a verbal waterfall that I can't stop. Part of me is really scared, but a bigger part of me is telling that part to shut up. So yeah, there's a little mini-war in my head that I'm trying to silence. Meanwhile I can't think of anything I've enjoyed more than just being with you.
Ron: In all seriousness, Ashley's been great and I love her. She's made me feel very special even though she's baked a life-size birthday cake that she plans to jump out of while wearing the Princess Lea bikini costume from Return of the Jedi. What a swell gal!
Ashley (using quotes from Ron): The immediacy and intensity of this is just completely serendipitous. I hesitate to use his words without his consent, but he has a skill to describe things better than I can. I've never met anyone who can do this, who can read my mind and speak it more eloquently to the point where all I want to say is "Um, yeah that" every time he speaks. But here is my very favorite thing he's ever written, and that I've ever read. It perfectly describes how I feel.
" It's like a knocking over a bucket of red paint and watching with unconscious helplessness as it runs all over the floor and under the doors into the other rooms."
Then it finally happened...
Ron: Well, it's finally happened. Ashley asked me to marry her. After months of anticipation and many sleepless nights my worries of losing such a wonderful woman are over. I'm such a lucky guy! When she got down on one knee, I was stunned.
"No, no, no, you are not doing this... Are you doing this? Please oh please I hope you are doing this!" My head was spinning. She pulled out the black velvet box and opened the lid!
"Ron, you have made me the happiest woman in the world and I don't think I could ever live the rest of my life without you." Her eyes were sparkling from the reflection caused by the moon's light on the ring. "Will you marry me?"
The facts may be a little backwards, but in any case, one of them said yes. Of course, the relationship only got deeper from there…
Ashley: Even when everything in my life feels like its swirling around and upside down... even when nothing make sense and all the answers just bring about more questions... I know that he will love me and remind me of everything that is right with the world, and right with me. I never thought I could, but I now believe in love and its power to make me maybe not a better person, but certainly a more complete one.
…even when they were apart.
Ashley: And of course, I'll miss him. I look forward to missing him. I told him about a week ago "I can't wait to miss you," and I truly meant it. I've never had that long absence with joy at the end. Dread, disappointment, frustration yes. But never joy. Having someone to miss is a great luxury to me and I wouldn't trade it for all the solitary eyebrow plucking in the world
Ron: Passengers from the plane jockeyed for position around the baggage carousel, but my mind was too preoccupied with what Noah, Harrison and Sawyer were doing, how my parents were feeling, and about making money to pay bills. But in any case, I was home. Not because I returned to my daily dose of regular issues to contend with, but because, unlike the previous returns from seeing my boys, there was someone wonderful waiting to hug me when I walked in the door. As much as I missed my sons, I was equally happy to be missed while I was away.
Today the two of them will pledge their love before family and friends.
Ashley: Now I've got someone who loves me so completely, who knows me so well, who makes me laugh and makes me think and makes me 83% happier than I ever thought possible. I know that as long as he's by my side, I won't care what path I'm on. As long as he lets me love him as well as he's loved me, then the next 30 years will without a doubt be the best and I hope for at least another 30 after that.
Ron: What she said, except I’m closer to 92% happier…
…and they lived happily ever after. I guess internet dating really does work.
See what I mean about trying to write? I'm going to stop that now before anyone puts an eye out. Instead, lets look at pretty pretty pictures together, shall we?
Thursday, Linz and I got to go to an exclusive bridal event at Hotel Derek. I'm not having my wedding there, but I'm down for free hors d'oevures and martinis. We practiced different wedding planning related gestures to use while talking about other things. And we looked adorable and shadowy.
We had a couple of martinis and came back to my place to eat dinner before having a girls' night. Getting ready is always fun. Beware of flared nostrils. They are massive and deadly. Do not try this at home.
Ron took the obligatory pre-launch photo. But Linz and I watch too much America's Next Top Model, so we were doing commercial, catalogue, and couture poses, while giving good neck and - of course - smiling with our eyes. Shown here is couture. (Linz is a national sternum and collarbone supermodel, clearly.)
Yes we're very silly. But not quite as silly as Ron who was trying to attack me with a blood pressure cuff. Sphygmomanometers: As fun to say as they are to play with.
We had a fun evening, which was much needed by all. My mom watched the kids for us, so Friday I watched them for her so she could recuperate.
Saturday, the girls and I went to the new park in downtown Houston called Discovery Green. It's trying to be the Central Park of Houston. It's usually really really fun, but it was pretty crowded on Saturday, and my little clones were too anxious to play very much. They were however eager to smile pretty :)
We also got to check out these half sphere thingies (their technical name, of course). Supposedly, one person sits in one, the other person in the other, and through some sort of sound wave trick, you can hear each other using normal voices even though they appear to be very far away. Once we were there, I discovered the magical trick is proximity, as they're not all that far apart. I was underwhelmed. But they make for a nice picture backdrop anyway...
Sunday was church and babysitting. Linz took Cayden to his first Astro's game and baby Prestyn stayed with us. I've never gotten to take many pictures of her, so I indulged. She is at an adorable age where she's just learned to clap and is quite proud of herself. I love 10 month olds. If I could give birth and have them instantly be this age, I'd have a dozen more.
She also has the prettiest eyelashes. I'm not entirely unconvinced that she isn't hiding an eyelash curler in her crib matress and furiously crimping away during naptime. She moves a ton so it's hard to capture the majesty of her eyelashes, but I gave it a good shot anyway...
I'm off to finish my weekend by cooking turkey spaghetti, playing Webkinz with the girls, watching the Simpsons, and trying to not think about all the wedding stuff I need to be thinking about.
Okay, so Ron was right. They burp like frat boys. But they do it in such a cute way! And they almost always say "Excuse me". And they don't fart at the dinner table. Anymore. Manners are such a subjective thing, you know?
And I hate titling it that because now that song will be stuck in my head the rest of the night. Luckily, I've been up since 4am, so the rest of the night will be a short one. The Ronald has escaped to the great northeast to see his boys for spring break. (How spring can exist when the temperature is 40 degrees, I don't know. I suspect I'll learn when we move to Chicago.) I deposited him at the airport this morning and am left with a few evenings to myself.
I confess that I've fantasized about these evenings for a few months. I figured I would put the girls to bed, break out my makeup kit and the 50x magnification mirror, and spend the entire evening practicing my wedding makeup and hairstyle and veil positioning. I'd take dramatically lit pictures of me in all my glamour and I'd email them to Ron in rural Pennsylvania. Once he received these pictures, he would be so overcome by my beauty and grace that he would compose sonnets and anthems and a 16 volume treatise (with appendix and footnotes) on how astonishingly magnificent I am.
So far, that hasn't quite happend. My camera is in the shop (again); my veil hasn't been ordered (though I did pick up some cheap, white tulle to play with); my hair is mostly wet and drying frizzily on top of my head (no makeup to speak of); and the only thing he's been compelled to write about me of late has to do with the gastrointestinal talents of me and my offspring. (I see a wedding vow in there somewhere, surely.)
Clearly, my evenings of solipsistic glamour will go unfulfilled. Meanwhile I plan on filling my time doing the following:
Plucking my eyebrows.
Peeing with the bathroom door open (and the faucet OFF.)
Letting the girls eat cereal for dinner at least twice.
Sleeping in the middle of the bed. (Which Ron would claim is no different than when he's here.)
Watching "Firefly" on DVD.
Reading book after book after book.
Hour long baths.
Razor boycott.
Playing Webkinz on Allie and Avery's behalf.
Dancing in the kitchen.
Singing in the bathtub.
Painting my toenails during America's Next Top Model.
And of course I'll miss him. I look forward to missing him. I told him about a week ago "I can't wait to miss you," and I truly meant it. I've never had that long absence with joy at the end. Dread, disappointment, frustration yes. But never joy. Having someone to miss is a great luxury to me and I wouldn't trade it for all the eyebrow plucking in the world....
Because I have such wonderful and giving friends, we got the opportunity to see Sugarland perform at the Houston Rodeo and to participate in the Meet and Greet beforehand. Allie is a huge fan after seeing them perform this summer with Kenny Chessney. She sings "Stay" to her kindergarten teacher which always gets her some much needed attention. Avery loves anything that Allie tells her to, so she was excited as well. Ron? Well, he was napping in the corner 30 seconds before this picture was taken, but at least his eyes are open. And aparently I thought I was a contestant in America's Next Top Misplaced Beauty Pageant Contestant which is the only reason I can account for the strangeness of my pose. Jennifer and Kristian are beautiful, gracious, and talented as always. Kristian was a good sport when Avery said "Hi! My name is Avery and I'm four. How old are you?" He explained he was turning 7 pretty soon and was hoping to get a good present. I promised I'd put in a good word with his wife so maybe he could get that bicycle without training wheels. :)
The stylings of my very favorite fiance' (with all design work done by yours truly).....
The Adventures of Metro Man and his Mini Van. (Found here.)
Ron is not amused with me and my picture happy self. But miracle of
miracles.... his eyes are open!
And I'm sorry. I know he's not perfect all the time, but can you see why I
give him credit for being perfect even in those less than perfect moments?
Thought so....
Ron blogged about the actual engagement. I couldn't put it any better myself. Here ya go. (See why I'm so crazy about him?)
Well, it's finally happened... Ashley asked me to marry her. After months of anticipation and many sleepless nights my worries of losing such a wonderful woman are over. I'm such a lucky guy! And the way she went about it - oh, it was soooo romantic. First she made reservations at a totally cool Italian restaurant where we had this really great meal while splitting a bottle of wine (actually she drank most of it as she seemed really nervous for some reason). Ironically the name of where we ate and the designer for her wedding dress are the same name... but they are not the same company... starts with an "s" or something - anyway.
After dessert we went down town where she had a carriage waiting for us to ride around the city. It was a bit chilly so we held each other close with my head on her shoulder. I had absolutely no clue what was about to happen. First she switched seats in the carriage so she could face me, which threw me off, but when she got down on one knee I was stunned.
"No, no, no, you are not doing this... Are you doing this? Please oh please I hope you are doing this!" My head was spinning.
She pulled out the black velvet box and opened the lid to reveal a gi-normous ring! I had to squint because there was no way I could look straight at it without getting sun spots in my eyes. I have no idea where she could have got it but it was beautiful. She held it out closer to me (causing a slight burn on my left cheek from the light amplification).
"Ronald M*******s, you have made me the happiest woman in the world and I don't think I could ever live the rest of my life without you." Her eyes were sparkling from the reflection caused by the moon's reflection in the ring. "Will you marry me?"
I tried to fight back the tears but just couldn't. I was so in love with Ashley and I was so overjoyed that she felt the same for me. I never thought I could love again until her. It was all so overwhelming. Finally though, I lowered my hands from my face and blurted out, "Yes!"
She beamed a most incredible smile that also sparkled from reflection of the Aurora Borealis amplified by the ring's power. Gently taking her other hand she slipped the ring onto her finger. We kissed, hardly noticing the chill in the air as the love in our hearts was more than sufficient to keep us warm.
Afterwards we celebrated the occasion with a bottle of Champagne which we soundly emptied in 3 minutes flat. Soon, I was asleep, my head buzzing from the bubbly and the fact that I was happier than I had ever been in my life. That was almost two weeks ago, but I will remember every detail of that evening exactly as it happened as if it were yesterday.
For further information on Ashley and my engagement as well as more photos of the ring and some of the false UFO reports it may have caused please check out Ashley's blog site at:
http://schadenfreudette.vox.com/
PS Right now we're looking at June 7th wedding... more info to come!
In typical OCDWPT style (That's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Procrastinatory Tendencies. Look for it in the DSM-IV in the Spring of 2009!), I planned the girls Christmas dresses, curled and style their hair, and generally just spent so long on getting them camera ready, that I lost any good available lighting and therefor had no Christmas pictures this year. And on Christmas Eve (when we do our familiy get-together) I almost completely forgot to take pictures. So I figured that I would not have any decent photographic representations of this, the happiest Christmas ever.
However. Take 30mg Adderrall, add 44 oz of diet Coke, 2 Marlboro Ultra Lights and then sit in front of Photoshop CS3 for a few hours, and some of the pictures become quite passable....
Deceptively cute, aren't they?
The manic glee of Christmas which sets Avery in constant motion...
The pre-teen dramatic Christmas spirit of "Mom, I'm so over this photography crap. Can you get that thing out of my face now?" (Does age 5 count as pre-teen? 'Cause the attitude sure as heck fits...)
We love our Mommy because she gives us presents!
We love our Gaga because she gives us cookies!!
My sister and her adorable family. My nephew Cayden (age very very 2) was even nice enough to stop his head spinning around 360 degrees long enough for this picture. It was a Christmas Miracle!
And the lovely Ron. Dear, sweet, loveable Ron. His superpower? Complete inability to keep his eyes open for a picture. For any picture. Flash, no flash, posed, candid, anything. He blinks. I'm working on an animated GIF for those who don't beleive me. It's adorable. Most of the time.
And what's the most Christmasy shirt he could possibly ever wear? Why, the Buddha shirt of course! (We like it for the style, not for the religion, so you need not have an aneurysm Grandma. I promise we're at church almost every Sunday...) It's still fun to antagonize my mom though :) And yes, even when he's not facing the camera, the eyes are still closed.
Hope all of you had a really fabulous holiday of your choice. I miss you guys oodles and hope to be back in the swing of things by New Year.