13 posts tagged “love”
I don't know how I ever got so lucky, but I'm sure glad that I did. My wonderful, gorgeous, intelligent, doting, amazing husband made this video for me as part of my Valentine's gift. Granted he did try to get embarassing pictures in there too, but even with the embarassment it is the single sweetest gift I've ever received. I watch it at least once a day and just swoon...
....I got the following email in my Inbox. I'm glad I clicked on that third one down on the far left.... even if we were only an 88% match. I'm happy at least 98% of the time. The other 2% I'm just in shock that I found someone so amazing. Happy "I've known you a whole year now" Anniversary to my husband! For yays!
(Usernames have been blurred to protect those unlucky suckers who didn't get to marry me...) :)
Oh, and I got to have a really for real awesomly fierce photoshoot this weekend. The photographer was a genius and made me look 11 times prettier than I will ever look in real life. Ron was taking some pictures of them taking pictures and I think the results are going to be amazing. Stay tuned....
I feel completely disconnected from my writing right now. Which is so unfortunate as I have so much to write about. New marriage. New job. New experiences and growth and change and joy. There is a lot of wonderful available and I should be tapping into it, but I can't. I'm trying to live instead of write, experience instead of overanalyze, and exist in the joy/worry/anger/love/humor of the moment as it happens instead of obsessing about it endlessly.
I don't know if this is a good thing. Sometimes I think it is. It's good to stop and live. It's kind of like the difference between photographing a memorable even and just watching it. I don't think it's a permanent condition. In fact, I sense it's nearly over and I have a lot churning in my head right now. I guess I just need to verbalize and rationalize to myself how I went from writing and photographing everyday to almost not at all.
I love and miss you, writing. I'll be back before you know it.
Ron had this brilliant idea to have the story of our relationship included in the wedding program, but use quotes from our blogs and emails to tell the story. It was the second best idea he's ever had (the first being marrying me, of course...)
They are as follows....
How did Ron & Ashley’s story begin? Well, it all started with a boy, a girl and a three-day trial on Match.com…
Ron’s headline & profile
“The Biggest Jerk You'll Ever Meet... and the Computer Says We're A Match!
…and the description of himself and his “Ideal Match”
I’m thirty-five. I live at home with my mom. My hair is thinning and my beer gut isn’t getting any smaller. I have a 1972 pinto that I painted to look like the General Lee on The Dukes of Hazard. I joined match cause this was an easy way to find hot girls without all the work of talking to them first. So basically what I’m looking for is a girl who’s totally hot, has a good job, buys me stuff, lets me hang at her place and drink beer, lends me her car, gives me money, doesn’t nag me and really digs strip clubs. If I turned up in your search then the computer thinks we’re a match and we should totally hook up.
The ’72 Pinto caught the eye of Ashley who was on the last day of free trial to the internet dating site. When Ashley & Ron did “totally hook up” for a first date, they were anxious to meet for the first time.
Ashley: I’m trying to be cautiously optimistic and failing miserably. I’m all out excited. We're going to have the cutest story if we end up together. And isn't that how all the best relationships start? With a cute story?
Of course, Ashley did her best to suppress her neurotic tendencies.
Ashley: As I got closer to restaurant, I got more nervous and was alternately practicing my smile in the rearview mirror, and talking to myself. Then telling myself to stop talking to myself. Then telling myself that telling myself to stop talking to myself was still, technically, talking to myself. It's complicated being me.
And it was the first of a great many dates for the both of them.
Ashley: We went and saw "Stardust", which was an awesome movie. We both laughed at same stuff. He smells yummy. He has good ADD drugs. So I guess this is all working out well so far. Le sigh, le swoon, le float.
Ron: It was another great date night with Ashley and we left the theater acting like a couple of goof-balls knowing we don't have to resent all those happy couples that used to make us gag. Now they can now resent us.
Ashley: Fourth date sounds just ridiculous because surely we have known each other longer. Surely we've been hanging out for years sharing stories, creating inside jokes, listening, laughing, commiserating. This cannot be the fourth date.
Ron (first Dinner with Ashley’s girls): It was the first dinner Ashley ever cooked and it was delicious. Without warning, her adorable girls opened their mouths uttering an apocalyptic noise described only the book of Revelations Being that it was very early in our dating relationship, I felt it inappropriate to curb the girls charming behavior. I quietly picked another piece of broccoli from my hair and placed it back on my plate. To my relief Ashley acted as I would’ve expected a parent to. "Here we go," I thought as her mouth opened to deliver a gentle rebuff given that company was present. Instead, Ashley unleashed the sound of Hell itself, launching a fresh round of broccoli and mashed potatoes into my hair. High fives all around.
"So this condition,” I asked, untangling my hair from rapidly drying gravy. “Is it genetic?"
And through all the time together they started to fall in love.
Ashley: I'm sorry if I'm still somewhat mute. Partly I just feel comfortable enough with you to just be quiet. Partly I don't want to start a verbal waterfall that I can't stop. Part of me is really scared, but a bigger part of me is telling that part to shut up. So yeah, there's a little mini-war in my head that I'm trying to silence. Meanwhile I can't think of anything I've enjoyed more than just being with you.
Ron: In all seriousness, Ashley's been great and I love her. She's made me feel very special even though she's baked a life-size birthday cake that she plans to jump out of while wearing the Princess Lea bikini costume from Return of the Jedi. What a swell gal!
Ashley (using quotes from Ron): The immediacy and intensity of this is just completely serendipitous. I hesitate to use his words without his consent, but he has a skill to describe things better than I can. I've never met anyone who can do this, who can read my mind and speak it more eloquently to the point where all I want to say is "Um, yeah that" every time he speaks. But here is my very favorite thing he's ever written, and that I've ever read. It perfectly describes how I feel.
" It's like a knocking over a bucket of red paint and watching with unconscious helplessness as it runs all over the floor and under the doors into the other rooms."
Then it finally happened...
Ron: Well, it's finally happened. Ashley asked me to marry her. After months of anticipation and many sleepless nights my worries of losing such a wonderful woman are over. I'm such a lucky guy! When she got down on one knee, I was stunned.
"No, no, no, you are not doing this... Are you doing this? Please oh please I hope you are doing this!" My head was spinning. She pulled out the black velvet box and opened the lid!
"Ron, you have made me the happiest woman in the world and I don't think I could ever live the rest of my life without you." Her eyes were sparkling from the reflection caused by the moon's light on the ring. "Will you marry me?"
The facts may be a little backwards, but in any case, one of them said yes. Of course, the relationship only got deeper from there…
Ashley: Even when everything in my life feels like its swirling around and upside down... even when nothing make sense and all the answers just bring about more questions... I know that he will love me and remind me of everything that is right with the world, and right with me. I never thought I could, but I now believe in love and its power to make me maybe not a better person, but certainly a more complete one.
…even when they were apart.
Ashley: And of course, I'll miss him. I look forward to missing him. I told him about a week ago "I can't wait to miss you," and I truly meant it. I've never had that long absence with joy at the end. Dread, disappointment, frustration yes. But never joy. Having someone to miss is a great luxury to me and I wouldn't trade it for all the solitary eyebrow plucking in the world
Ron: Passengers from the plane jockeyed for position around the baggage carousel, but my mind was too preoccupied with what Noah, Harrison and Sawyer were doing, how my parents were feeling, and about making money to pay bills. But in any case, I was home. Not because I returned to my daily dose of regular issues to contend with, but because, unlike the previous returns from seeing my boys, there was someone wonderful waiting to hug me when I walked in the door. As much as I missed my sons, I was equally happy to be missed while I was away.
Today the two of them will pledge their love before family and friends.
Ashley: Now I've got someone who loves me so completely, who knows me so well, who makes me laugh and makes me think and makes me 83% happier than I ever thought possible. I know that as long as he's by my side, I won't care what path I'm on. As long as he lets me love him as well as he's loved me, then the next 30 years will without a doubt be the best and I hope for at least another 30 after that.
Ron: What she said, except I’m closer to 92% happier…
…and they lived happily ever after. I guess internet dating really does work.
And I hate titling it that because now that song will be stuck in my head the rest of the night. Luckily, I've been up since 4am, so the rest of the night will be a short one. The Ronald has escaped to the great northeast to see his boys for spring break. (How spring can exist when the temperature is 40 degrees, I don't know. I suspect I'll learn when we move to Chicago.) I deposited him at the airport this morning and am left with a few evenings to myself.
I confess that I've fantasized about these evenings for a few months. I figured I would put the girls to bed, break out my makeup kit and the 50x magnification mirror, and spend the entire evening practicing my wedding makeup and hairstyle and veil positioning. I'd take dramatically lit pictures of me in all my glamour and I'd email them to Ron in rural Pennsylvania. Once he received these pictures, he would be so overcome by my beauty and grace that he would compose sonnets and anthems and a 16 volume treatise (with appendix and footnotes) on how astonishingly magnificent I am.
So far, that hasn't quite happend. My camera is in the shop (again); my veil hasn't been ordered (though I did pick up some cheap, white tulle to play with); my hair is mostly wet and drying frizzily on top of my head (no makeup to speak of); and the only thing he's been compelled to write about me of late has to do with the gastrointestinal talents of me and my offspring. (I see a wedding vow in there somewhere, surely.)
Clearly, my evenings of solipsistic glamour will go unfulfilled. Meanwhile I plan on filling my time doing the following:
Plucking my eyebrows.
Peeing with the bathroom door open (and the faucet OFF.)
Letting the girls eat cereal for dinner at least twice.
Sleeping in the middle of the bed. (Which Ron would claim is no different than when he's here.)
Watching "Firefly" on DVD.
Reading book after book after book.
Hour long baths.
Razor boycott.
Playing Webkinz on Allie and Avery's behalf.
Dancing in the kitchen.
Singing in the bathtub.
Painting my toenails during America's Next Top Model.
And of course I'll miss him. I look forward to missing him. I told him about a week ago "I can't wait to miss you," and I truly meant it. I've never had that long absence with joy at the end. Dread, disappointment, frustration yes. But never joy. Having someone to miss is a great luxury to me and I wouldn't trade it for all the eyebrow plucking in the world....
Ron is not amused with me and my picture happy self. But miracle of
miracles.... his eyes are open!
And I'm sorry. I know he's not perfect all the time, but can you see why I
give him credit for being perfect even in those less than perfect moments?
Thought so....
Ron blogged about the actual engagement. I couldn't put it any better myself. Here ya go. (See why I'm so crazy about him?)
Well, it's finally happened... Ashley asked me to marry her. After months of anticipation and many sleepless nights my worries of losing such a wonderful woman are over. I'm such a lucky guy! And the way she went about it - oh, it was soooo romantic. First she made reservations at a totally cool Italian restaurant where we had this really great meal while splitting a bottle of wine (actually she drank most of it as she seemed really nervous for some reason). Ironically the name of where we ate and the designer for her wedding dress are the same name... but they are not the same company... starts with an "s" or something - anyway.
After dessert we went down town where she had a carriage waiting for us to ride around the city. It was a bit chilly so we held each other close with my head on her shoulder. I had absolutely no clue what was about to happen. First she switched seats in the carriage so she could face me, which threw me off, but when she got down on one knee I was stunned.
"No, no, no, you are not doing this... Are you doing this? Please oh please I hope you are doing this!" My head was spinning.
She pulled out the black velvet box and opened the lid to reveal a gi-normous ring! I had to squint because there was no way I could look straight at it without getting sun spots in my eyes. I have no idea where she could have got it but it was beautiful. She held it out closer to me (causing a slight burn on my left cheek from the light amplification).
"Ronald M*******s, you have made me the happiest woman in the world and I don't think I could ever live the rest of my life without you." Her eyes were sparkling from the reflection caused by the moon's reflection in the ring. "Will you marry me?"
I tried to fight back the tears but just couldn't. I was so in love with Ashley and I was so overjoyed that she felt the same for me. I never thought I could love again until her. It was all so overwhelming. Finally though, I lowered my hands from my face and blurted out, "Yes!"
She beamed a most incredible smile that also sparkled from reflection of the Aurora Borealis amplified by the ring's power. Gently taking her other hand she slipped the ring onto her finger. We kissed, hardly noticing the chill in the air as the love in our hearts was more than sufficient to keep us warm.
Afterwards we celebrated the occasion with a bottle of Champagne which we soundly emptied in 3 minutes flat. Soon, I was asleep, my head buzzing from the bubbly and the fact that I was happier than I had ever been in my life. That was almost two weeks ago, but I will remember every detail of that evening exactly as it happened as if it were yesterday.
For further information on Ashley and my engagement as well as more photos of the ring and some of the false UFO reports it may have caused please check out Ashley's blog site at:
http://schadenfreudette.vox.com/
PS Right now we're looking at June 7th wedding... more info to come!
Show us something you believe in.
Even when everything in my life feels like its swirling around and upside down... even when nothing make sense and all the answers just bring about more questions... even when I feel like a bit fat failure and want to just give up and crawl in a hole... even then, I know that he will love me and remind me of everything that is right with the world, and with me. I never thought I'd believe in it, but I now believe in love and it's power to make me maybe not a better person, but certainly a more complete one.
What movie did you expect would be terrible, but was actually really good?
Um, I really didn't expect to like The Notebook. After my divorce, I was really reluctant to beleive in true love and soulmates and all that BS. But I kept hearing how good the movie was, and people kept (mistakenly) telling me I looked like Rachel McAdams. So I decided to give it a shot. I of course loved it and decided that that was the only love worth ever having and that if I could find one like that, then maybe I'd give it a shot again. I figured if I set my standard way too high, then I'd never be able to meet it and I'd never have to bother getting in a relationship and getting hurt.
So far, it looks like God took me up on my double dog dare and has proven that my goal wasn't so unrealistic after all...
Yes, today I am Thirty. That's how I hear it in my head - capitalized. It's a big deal, you know.
I've always really looked forward to 30. I know some people freak out or start to feel old or whatever. But ever since I turned 21, the next birthday I looked forward to was 30. I decided that maybe then I would feel like a grown up. Thirty would arrive and I would know who I was and where I was headed and what exact path I was taking in life. I would know how to make gravy, I would know how to fold fitted sheets, I would finally alphabetize my spice rack and organize my photographs and mail thank you cards on time.
Amazingly, I turned out to be partly right. I still can't make gravy, but I make a damn good roast. I know how to fold fitted sheets, though I really don't care to. My photos are very well organized on my computer, even if I never print them off. My spice rack is a mess, and I write the thank you's and never mail them, but I've got to have something to work on for 40, right? But above all of that, I finally do feel like myself. I finally found that last piece of the puzzle that clicked, and I like the whole picture. It's not a perfect picture, but it's authentic and that's all I've ever strived to be.
I still don't know what path I'm on. I don't know that I ever will because there are too many to choose from and I know just as soon as I think I've got it all figured out, God will tap me on the shoulder, smirk and say "Oh yeah? Watch this, smarty pants." And that's okay because I've got really good company on this path now. I mean, I've always had good company in my friends and family. But now I've got someone who loves me so completely, who knows me so well, who makes me laugh and makes me think and makes me 83% happier than I ever thought possible. I know that as long as he's by my side, I won't care what path I'm on. As long as he lets me love him as well as he's loved me, then the next 30 years will without a doubt be the best and I hope for at least another 30 after that.
So yeah, Thirty sounds scary at first, but from where I'm sitting, it's the best year ever. How can I possibly feel old when I'm this happy? 37? Now that one, I'm gonna have a problem with......
Oh, and the prettiest, most amazing, perfect present EVER?
The painting I received, which is actually of a photograph I took. And he didn't even know it was my favorite flower. Yep. We're a match. :)
