3 posts tagged “grandma”
Thank you guys for all your thoughts and prayers.
Thankfully, we received encouraging news. Though one of Grandma's arteries was 99% blocked, the rest of her heart is remarkably strong, especially given all her medical issues. She'll stay in the hospital for a few days but her prognosis is good beyond that. She has been through such an array of medical complications this past year and a half. Her doctors are quite amazed that she's not only survived everything thrown at her lately, but soldiered through with such grace and wit. That's just how we roll in our family I guess :)
And I also owe you guys an update regarding Mom's hearing. Short story is that we still don't know anything. It was a very trying, humiliating, and exhausting experience for her. Basically the lawyer grilled her for nearly 45 minutes and watching her struggle to find words, to speak, to be heard... it was heartbreaking. But Linz and I got to speak on her behalf as well, and I feel like in a combination of the three of us, we told her story. The judge will be deciding in 2 weeks and we should know in about 10 weeks.
Meanwhile... my benediction for tomorrow. I was scheduled to read it at the 9am tomorrow, but will miss it because the girls seem to have a stomach bug (and I think I'm getting it too). Regardless, someone will read it and I hope the right hearts hear it. It's been in mine for awhile, though I didn't know quite how to get it out.
Psalm 143
"O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy.
In your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief."
In the darkest of times, my prayers are the most simple. Usually all I can muster is a simple "please" repeated incessantly aloud and in my head. A syncopated supplication broken only to take a breath and to interject our Lord's name. Though the syntax is simple, the petition is not. I cry not just for relief, but for knowledge, acceptance, guidance, wisdom, peace.
Please says "I don't know how to handle this alone."
Please says "I'm not ready for this loss."
Please says "This is not my plan but yours."
Please says "I know, Lord. I know."
"Teach me to do your will for you are my God.
May your good Spirit lead me on level ground."
I'm back to my one word prayer of maternal medical trauma. Only this time it's my grandmother. She had a heart attack last night and is still in ICU. I'm trying to balance my own selfishness in wanting her to heal and come home so I can still have my Meme, with the knowledge that she would be perfectly happy to start her eternity now. Regardless, I love her very much and want the best for her. She's very special not only to us, but to a lot of people.
Say a prayer if you can. And I promise to quit asking for prayers all the time.
My grandmother turns 77 today. It seems like a particularly special birthday, probably because 77 was the year I was born. And the world revolves around me, you know. I've been fretting over what to get her for her birthday, but come up empty on what she could possibly need. Her walls are plastered with picture frames, her jewelry box is well filled, she's probably already read every romance novel every published, and she's allergic to perfume. My sister bought her the absolutely ingenious gift of a Black Eyed Pea gift card for Christmas, so she and her husband could have a dinner out together. But since then, she's been hospitalized for a pretty aggressive infection, and as a result, her knee prosthesis was removed. So she's pretty flexible I'm sure, but not so mobile.
The idea of being completely homebound seems somewhat appealing to me at first, but then I realized how completely and awfully boring that would be. I wish I lived closer to Denver so that I could go visit her, entertain her, cook her dinner, chauffer her to all her doctor's appointments. Alas, I don't and I can't, but I still can entertain her in a way. So my gift to her this year is my writing. I am going to write her something everyday for a month, and stick it in the actual US Mail, so she can have a tangible actual thing to hold in her hands and read. My grandmother is the original writer in the family and I'm proud to be able to carry on that part of her legacy. Her own short stories about being a missionary in Nicaragua are hilarious and inspiring, and I hope that I can entertain her as fully as she's entertained me these 29 years. I probably won't post what I'm sending her everyday, but in honor of her birthday, I wanted to publish at least the first of the installment.
My earliest memories of my grandma are from the house at Indian Meadows. If I concentrate hard enough, I could probably remember the exact pattern on that stylish 1970's gold and brown carpet. I don't have to concentrate at all to remember what I thought of her. I thought she was the smartest woman in the world. She was a nurse at Tahlequah City Hospital, but not just a regular nurse. She was "THE NURSE". She helped design the cardiac ICU. She was respected and known by many area doctors. She was the boss of other people. I thought nurses were smarter than doctors for many many years. (Sometimes, I still do, actually.) Nurses still wore white back then and her white SAS shoes and her official nurse hat seemed so glamorous to me. I got to play with her stethoscope and her sphygmomanometer, and I could find my heartbeat, but couldn't figure out how to take my own blood pressure. I got to flip through her "Pill Book" and picked out which ones were the prettiest, so that one day I could take those. She had the funnest collection of medical books with illustrations. For years I associated the word "body" with an illustration of the circulatory and lymphatic systems. If a newscaster said a body had been found, I pictured a collection of branching vessels and wondered why someone would leave those behind.
She was not only smart, she was talented beyond belief. At church, I thought hers was the most beautiful voice when the congregation was singing hymns. I couldn't quite figure out why she hadn't gone on to become an opera singer. Her voice was strong and beautiful. She could play the accordion too. Sometimes she would play the accordion and sing, while my grampsy played the viola. They performed at church sometimes, and during one performance, I was so proud of them both, that I felt the need to hug them both immediately. I ran onstage to congratulate them, but Pastor Sides was quick enough to divert me and I sat in a chair next to him until they finished. I could see the congregation watching them, as impressed with their gifts as I was. I was so proud to be their grand-daughter, and even happier that everyone could see just how special they were.
And of course, she was beautiful. With impeccable style to boot. I spent hours playing dress up with her clothes and jewelry. I wondered how I could get my hair in that perfect curl like hers. It was more than a wave, but less than a spiral. I knew she had been a Shirley Temple clone as a little girl and imagine that her hair was the envy of many girls in the 1940's. They had to spend hours on pincurls and finger waves, while my grandma's beauty was effortless. It was just there without any coaxing or prodding.
But all those three things combined couldn't hold a candle to her best quality: her spirit. I call it spirit instead of personality, because it is so textured and multifaceted. She can be the most compassionate and loving person. She has the perfect lap to sit on in a rocking chair and the gentlest touch that could soothe and calm instantly. Even as I grew beyond childhood, she'd good-naturedly allow me a "Grandma Rock" now and then, as long as I was still small enough to fit comfortably. She has a wicked sense of humor, not in a mean way, but in a very arch and good-naturedly wry way. Her laugh is hard to pin down because she never laughs alone. You can't help but laugh along with her and her good humor is contagious. Her generosity, her grace, her unimaginable strength during adversity, her unshakable faith, her ability to touch the hearts and lives of so many people, the lives she has changed for the better, I could go on and on and on.
Grandma always tells me that I started it all. As her eldest grandchild, I was the one who made her "Grandma". As the first grandchild to become a parent, I also made her a great-grandma (AKA, Meme). She jokes that I made her who she is today. In reality, she helped make me who I am today. She was a perfect role model of a strong, smart, inspiring woman. She was successful in her career, in her family, in her faith. She is responsible for creating this family and for nurturing it into the supportive and loving network that it is. (Though she did have a little help, I suppose!) She guided my mother in becoming an amazing person, and Mom passed that knowledge onto me, as I hope to do my girls. I still think she's smarter than many doctors, talented in many areas, and beautiful in so many ways. Most of all, I admire her spirit even more now that I am old enough to fully appreciate what she has gone through, and how inspiring she is not in spite of everything, but because of it. They're impressive footsteps to follow in and I hope I'm able to do them justice.
Happy Birthday, Grandma. I love you 1, 2, 3, 4.....
