I just got the DVD with all of my bridal portraits and I am amazed. Jennifer Nichols and her husband (http://www.jnicholsphoto.com/) did the shoot at the old cotton mill in McKinney, Texas. It was about 1,000 degrees, and the air was humid and full of pigeon poop, but they made me feel beautiful and captured me how I always think I look in my head, but never quite look like in real life. They are very very talented. If you need a photographer in or around Austin, Texas you couldn't do much better than the two of them.
I like the "Attack of the 50-foot Bride" feel of this one. It's like straight out of the nightmare of a commitment-phobic man. "I'm coming to wed you! RAWR!!!!"
Scene One
Linz: Allie, we're going to Wal Mart.
Allie: But Wal Mart exploits their workers.
Linz: Um, okay. I'm calling your mom. (dials phone) Ashley, do you know what your daughter just said to me about Wal Mart?
Me: That they exploit their workers?
Linz: Does she even know what that means?
Me: Ask her!
Linz: What does that mean, Allie?
Allie: It means that they don't want to give their workers insurance and they can't go to the doctor.
Me: See how fun brainwashing can be?
Allie: And also, they make everything in China.
Linz: You need a hobby...
Scene Two (overheard discussion between the girls)
Allie: Grandma says we have to vote for the old guy.
Avery: But mom likes No Rock Oh Momma.
Allie: No she likes Hillary Clinton, but we have to pick between the old guy and No Rock.
Avery: No Rock then.
Allie: But Grandma and Lindsay say that No Rock lets women kill their babies in their tummies.
Avery: Only if the baby tries to kill them first.
Scene Three
Allie: Look Mom! Grandma got us a new Webkinz!
Grandma: And a pin from the Republican party too!
Me: So the bear is a republican?
Allie: I want to play Webkinz!
Me: Okay honey. But what are you going to name the bear?
Grandma: How 'bout Freedom Bear?
Me: Or maybe Doomed Economy Bear?
Linz: Your mom would rather name it Gay Marriage Bear.
Grandma: Or Baby Killer Bear.
Me: Your other relatives want to name it Legislating Morality Bear.
Allie: Um.... how 'bout "Fuzzy"?
Another 14 minute hour gone. Along with half a beer and one cigarette. The surge of nicotine probably erased any drowsiness encouraged by the alcohol. I wish we hadn't packed the wine. I could use that warm fuzz brought about by a glass of shiraz right about now. Beer just makes me feel gassy and even more thirsty.
Avery started kindergarten yesterday. She was so excited about her big day that she nearly ran off to her classroom without so much as a goodbye hug. Allie was equally excited to start the first grade. She's disappointed that her boyfriend isn't in her class, but I think that's a good thing....
....I got the following email in my Inbox. I'm glad I clicked on that third one down on the far left.... even if we were only an 88% match. I'm happy at least 98% of the time. The other 2% I'm just in shock that I found someone so amazing. Happy "I've known you a whole year now" Anniversary to my husband! For yays!
(Usernames have been blurred to protect those unlucky suckers who didn't get to marry me...) :)
Oh, and I got to have a really for real awesomly fierce photoshoot this weekend. The photographer was a genius and made me look 11 times prettier than I will ever look in real life. Ron was taking some pictures of them taking pictures and I think the results are going to be amazing. Stay tuned....
On whom do you have your most embarrassing/scariest crush?
Submitted by Jillzey.
Okay, it's probably grounds for divorce, but I totally have a thing for Lex Luthor on Smallville. Yes, my husband is one of the biggest Superman fans. And yes, superheroes are fine and dandy, saving the poor and helpless, doing good, blah blah blah.
But sometimes a bad guy is fun too. Not all bad guys are truly bad, and Lex seems a little darker and more complicated than farmboy Clark with his picket fence, happily married parents, and high school freaking sweetheart. Barf.
Lex drinks scotch, drives fast, plays the piano, and dresses better than I do. He's got a wicked sense of humor, all kinds of daddy issues, and for some reason, I don't think he wouldn't steal all my hair gel.
Maybe most importantly.... he's got this sexy bump on the back of his head. I know it sounds weird... I certainly thought it was weird at first. Ron (my husband and fan of all things Superman) has all 7 seasons of Smallville on DVD and we've been watching them in order since about December. Around about Season 2, I recognized the bump and felt this strange desire to lick it. I accidentally told Ron, which wasn't the best idea. He was not amused by my attraction to the sworn enemy of his most beloved hero. I tried to explain it to him, but he was firm in his lack of understanding.
Imagine my relief when perusing the boards at Television Without Pity, when I discovered a lexicon of fantalk. Lo and behold, the sexy bump has a name. It's formally known as the "Knob of Sexitude" and is defined as that little bump on the back of [Lex Luthor's] head that all fangirls want to lick.
So at least I'm not alone in my twisted crush.
Avery is obsessed with Care Bears. So of course, she had a Care Bear party. I was worried about her party at first, since she's not in school and she doesn't really have friends her age outside of school, except for her sister. The only kids we know outside of school are Allie's age and when they're around, then Avery loses her BFF Allie who is off playing with the older kids. I was envisioning a really sad party where no one came to celebrate with Avery... who is the sweetest little girl in town.
Luckily, her teachers at her preschool let me swing by and drop off invitations to her party. And holy cow, you'd have thought I just walked in with the Jolie-Pitt twins. Everyone was so excited to see Avery... all her friends were hugging her and making a fuss and wanted to know when she would be back in school. (We're taking the summer off.) 5 of her friends were able to come and they had a blast playing at the party. It was a wonderful success. And I didn't even have a panic attack when I had to talk to the other parents! Woohoo!
Right before the cake and candles, Avery was really wheezing and needed a breathing treatment. She asked if she could have her cake first and I conceded since her asthma was in a manageable state. Of course, as it's time to blow out the candles, I realize that Little Miss Asthmatic is not going to be able to blow them all out. As I stepped in to help, Allie helped too. Which pissed Avery right off. She puckered that bottom lip and was about to unleash a torrent of tears because sister blew out her candles. Hoping to distract her, I leaned in and whispered in her ear "Hey. You wanna lick frosting off Share Bear's butt?" Disaster averted.
This same Care Bear made an appearance at Allie's birthday party (which we held at the same facility) and Avery looked like she'd died and gone to heaven. The young man wearing the costume, knows not to speak when in costume, because he doesn't quite have that saccharine falsetto to match his costume. Avery kept asking him questions "Do you really live in the clouds? What's Cheer Bear like? Can we get Grumpy Bear some meds?" I explained to Avery that Care Bears speak in rainbows which are hard for little girls to hear, so I translated the answers for her. (Yes. Annoying. No, but a stiff drink might help.) So of course, she was super excited that "Sunny" came to her party as well...
The first time Avery opened birthday presents on her own, she was 2 years old. We had a family party at home that year, and I sat on the living room floor with her in case she needed help opening boxes or tearing paper. When each present was finally revealed, she would take the item in her chubby little hands. Toys she examined with glee, she held dresses to her front in order to model, books were instantly flipped through. And after each gift, she went around to each person at her party showing them exactly what she got and why it was so cool. It was the sweetest thing to see such unfettered gratitude in one so young.
We opened presents at home again, with family. Again, I was on the floor with her to assist. Now that she's five, she doesn't do the elaborate gift by gift show-and-tell. But her gratitude was still apparent. When opening every single present, she squealed gleefully and proclaimed "It's just what I always wanted!" Seeing her so joyful and beautiful and grateful, I knew exactly what she meant. She's just what I always wanted too.
My wedding photographer is a genius. She showed me a couple of pics from the 189 metric buttloads she shot at my wedding and they are fab.
I feel completely disconnected from my writing right now. Which is so unfortunate as I have so much to write about. New marriage. New job. New experiences and growth and change and joy. There is a lot of wonderful available and I should be tapping into it, but I can't. I'm trying to live instead of write, experience instead of overanalyze, and exist in the joy/worry/anger/love/humor of the moment as it happens instead of obsessing about it endlessly.
I don't know if this is a good thing. Sometimes I think it is. It's good to stop and live. It's kind of like the difference between photographing a memorable even and just watching it. I don't think it's a permanent condition. In fact, I sense it's nearly over and I have a lot churning in my head right now. I guess I just need to verbalize and rationalize to myself how I went from writing and photographing everyday to almost not at all.
I love and miss you, writing. I'll be back before you know it.
Just got a phone call that Allie rode her first roller-coaster.
Made me think of this postcard from PostSecret.
I'm happy for her, but sad for me. I guess that's motherhood.
